(DailyChive.com) – As the holidays approach, many Americans are bracing for uncomfortable family gatherings, especially in light of recent political tensions. On a recent MSNBC segment, Dr. Amanda Calhoun, Yale University’s chief psychiatry resident, weighed in on whether it’s healthy to spend time with relatives whose political choices feel like a personal attack.
Host Joy Reid opened the discussion by asking how people, especially those in marginalized groups, should interact with family members who voted for leaders or policies that seem to oppose their basic rights. Reid highlighted examples of offensive rhetoric used during recent campaigns and questioned whether it’s psychologically wise—or even necessary—to maintain those family ties.
Dr. Calhoun didn’t mince words. She challenged the idea that family automatically deserves your time and energy. “I think the answer is absolutely not,” she stated firmly. She suggested it’s perfectly acceptable to set boundaries with family or close friends if their political decisions negatively impact your mental well-being.
For people in situations where a family member’s vote feels like a betrayal—whether it’s due to issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, or basic respect—Dr. Calhoun encouraged honesty. She said it’s okay to tell them, “I have a problem with the way you voted because it went against my very livelihood.” Taking a break from these relationships, especially during the emotionally charged holiday season, might even be essential for one’s mental health.
She also emphasized the importance of boundaries, not just for adults but for children too. Parents, she argued, shouldn’t force kids to spend time with relatives who might make them feel unsafe or unwelcome, simply because they’re family. Instead, she advised families to prioritize mental health and emotional safety over societal norms or holiday traditions.
The underlying message was clear: respect and understanding are earned, not automatically granted because of family ties. While the decision to separate from loved ones over politics isn’t an easy one, Dr. Calhoun argued that it could be a necessary step toward preserving one’s peace of mind.
In the end, the holidays might not bring everyone together—and maybe that’s okay.
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